sgagos@aol.com

I am a Life Coach, Writer, Truth Teller, Healing Catalyst, Group and Retreat Facilitator, Novice Art Journaler, Business Goddess, , Blogger, Aspiring Screenwriter, Mother, Animal Lover, Wannabe Vegan, and a survivor of childhood abuse.

For many years I only defined myself as the latter,  but I have learned to delight in all that I am and while my childhood was no doubt horrific, each day I write a new chapter in the story.

My story did not start well. I did not come into the world feeling safe, embraced and loved. I came into turmoil, depression, rage and insanity.  I was physically abused by my mother from a very early age up until the day I left. I was also sexually abused be nine men by the age of 15.

As a result I grew up with little or no self esteem, no concept of self love, self care and no sense of safety in the world. I felt disconnected from my body and lived most of my life from the head up. By the age of 16, I was pregnant and had a little girl at the age of 17.

Unfortunately the abuse and neglect had a huge impact in the way I mothered and the people I chose to be in relationships with. For most of my twenties, I was confused, disconnected, suffered from social anxiety, depression, and PTSD.

In my thirties, I decided that I had to face what happened to me and what I was doing to myself .  My first step on my healing path was therapy.  After about 5 or 6 years, I found that therapy was just not enough for me. I needed more in addition to the therapy.  Something was missing as I sat in the chair across from my psychiatrist, and rubbed my neck each time emotion came up. The rubbing was ignored and yet there was a story in my body which was often left ignored by traditional therapy.

It prompted me to go on a quest for what else was needed to heal such deep wounds. Since my father was a psychologist, I’ve always had a fascination with the mind and how it works and so I studied trauma, and the brain in an attempt to understand myself. I delved deeply into this, and approached my healing on a mental level. I changed my thinking patterns, I worked hard at keeping positive, at detaching from the voice of my false self. I began to understand that I was more than this critical, shaming voice in my head and so emerged the concept of My Voice of Truth. I realized that in addition to the abusive voice in my head, there was another voice, a voice of truth that spoke kindly and gently and with love. I learned that this was my true self and this resonated deeply with me.

In 2006, I created the website, My Voice of Truth: Reconditioning the Abused Mind and Body and told my story. I also began the process of writing my memoir in order to heal and reclaim the memories of my lost childhood.  I am still in the process of writing my first book, My Voice of Truth: Distorted Beginnings.  Since 2006, I created the site “Letters to My Abusers: What I Couldn’t Say Then”, a submission site for survivors to post letters to their abusers after finding some peace and healing in writing letters to my own abusers.

Overall I felt I was doing some good in the world but found my own personal work was lacking. Something was missing and when I was ready, like they said the teacher appeared.

In 2007, I found a place called Shalom Mountain, which literally saved my life. There I was taught about the concept of embodiment, living in my body…about energy, about my sexual energy, about my inner child, about love and affection…which I had great difficulty with all my life. There is so much I learned there and continue to learn through the connections I have made in this sacred space.

Today, I am trained in the Shalom Process and completed the Intro Training as well as the Leadership Training.  Although I hold masters degree in elementary education and taught for almost ten years, two years ago I decided to get my life coaching certification.  In 2009, after my divorce, I decided that I truly wanted to immerse myself into the soul centered work of coaching women into their greatness.  I became a certified life coach, and founded My Voice of Truth Coaching.

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Since 2009, I have run several groups for women including, a self care series for women, a group based on Geneen Roth’s book, Women Food and God, a Survivor Circle for men and women who were sexually abused as children as well as a 12 week sacred circle called The Sister Circle.

I am also a writer, blogger/vlogger.  I am still working on being in front of the camera. I am a work in progress.

I’ve come a long way from the dark apartment in the Bronx where my mentally ill mother raised me and where I was violated repeatedly.  I am still recovering my sense of self, my mind, body and spirit. I am a woman on a journey, a wounded healer and fellow journeyer and I have a few things to say about love, truth, light, the dark and the incredible power of the human spirit.  I love the work that I do and hope that my story will inspire and resonate with others in ways that mirror their pain as well as their innate power to survive and thrive.

Video:

My Childhood Story