Worst Things Therapists Say [entry-title permalink="0"]

before red girl 005

from the Facing Your Fears Workshop

*Trigger Warning*

I have heard a lot of horror stories about the things therapists say, especially to survivors of sexual abuse. I personally have had some really good therapists and have not experienced this but I think its important to talk about some of the worst things therapists say.

I gathered the following from the amazing women in my sanctuary who were willing to share some of the worst things that were said to them. This is not to anyway put down therapists as I truly believe in therapy, but I think it is so important for survivors to find therapists that can effectively treat trauma.

The moment a therapist denies, minimizes, is unable to handle, or ends up judging your experience, it is time to move on. It is not time to give up on therapy altogether as you could missing out on a very powerful relationship with a very good therapist who can truly help you heal.

What is the worst thing a therapist has told you? Feel free to add your voice here.

The first time I had any inkling of sexual abuse I was on vacation (first vacation as an adult ever). I was on a cruise and couldn’t sleep, and the “I hate myself” song started in my head. So when I asked, why do I hate myself, something inside said” Maybe because you were molested?” This COMPLETELY freaked me out, nothing like that had ever happened before.

When I came back and told my therapist at the time, she said it’s so hard to prove stuff like that and we can’t really know what happened. Basically like we’re not going to delve into that, so of course I never. G.P

When I was institutionalized for trying to commit suicide, the therapist told me I was okay since it wasn’t as bad as some other people. He said I wasn’t penetrated so I would be fine. He also said it wasn’t a big deal. T.H

One day I was telling the therapist some things that had happened to me and he said, “You know, sometimes we imagine things that didn’t really happen.” Needless to say, that was our last session.  V.S

The very worst for me, is when they say that lots of people have gone through this and they survived and so will I. I’m not everyone else, I’m me, and I need to feel that I’m worth of your time and your care. Don’t freaking compare me with everyone else!!! JS

After my dad was hospitalized and my sister tried to kill herself, my therapist said “I think we should talk about what the real problem is.” I didn’t go back. It was a really hard time. S. Luna

The psychologist told me that the key to my recovery was to force myself to drive a car. I tried, but the flashbacks got so bad my depression got worse. We never addressed my childhood as he felt that was a waste of time. Jane

The social worker that put my biological mother in touch with me – she asked me about my relationship with my adoptive parents, I gave her the sanitized brief version of the verbal and physical abuse, and her response was that I really needed to tell them more often how much I loved them. Leanne