This is the last day of my personal 10 day poetry challenge, yay!
This poem comes from a very deep and present part of me. This birthday was laced with hurt and personal conflicts with people I love and I found myself in a dark place while still enjoying the people who were there for me.
It was strange because normally I cannot separate and this time I was able to enjoy myself despite feeling hurt by members of my family. I was able to fully enjoy the people who were with me.
Unfortunately, the next day was another story and the feelings of hurt which of course had not gone anywhere since they had not been felt and processed, came back. I found myself going easily into the deeply wounded place from long ago. I found that I was experiencing this present hurt, coupled with and magnified by the past hurts in my life.
I almost feel like I am licking my wounds this week, trying recover my sense of self again and separate myself from the hurtful words that were said to me. It is not easy and I often feel torn between my wounded self and my true self. This is familiar although the situation always changes. I normally am not in conflict with my family members, but there is always something that brings me back to the wounded place, letting me know there is more to heal, more power to reclaim. This poem is about the feeling of being torn between the two parts of me.
by Stephanie Gagos