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This is very much like asking,  what is love?

I can only speak about what healing means to me. I am also aware this definition is limited by how much healing I have done in my own life and will change as I heal more of myself.

For now…

This is what I know:

Healing is not linear, it curves, it zig zags, sometimes it seems like it takes a few steps backward and one step forward.

There is no straight line to a destination of “I AM HEALED”. Often we make progress and then find ourselves triggered and feel like we are back “there” again. This just means there is more to heal, another layer, a related wound, and there may still be some charge around it.

It is a journey and there are many paths which lead to healing.

There is no one right way to heal. Each of us needs to find what resonates with us and create a healing path that works for us. There is no one size fits all. Some will take a more spiritual approach, some a more body centered approach, some will choose not to delve into their pain and use positive psychology and other methods to move beyond the past. I personally like a three prong approach, healing mind, body and spirit/soul.

If it works for you, do it.

Some wounds are deeper than others, but pain is pain.

People will often compare themselves to others, minimizing by saying their pain isn’t as bad as others. Even comparing whether they were molested vs. raped for example. Pain is pain people and your pain is as valid as the pain of any other human being.

Healing happens in layers.

People often get frustrated and say, “I thought I healed that!” or “I thought I was over it.”  and suddenly, in a moment of being triggered, they find there is more to it, more layers of the wound that need healing.


Healing is a lot of things and happens in a lot of ways

Healing can be messy, snot filled, bathroom floor sobbing, drooling, breaking, smashing, screaming, guttural soundmaking, light, calm, spiritual, graceful, deep lovin, uncovering, discovering, reclaiming…

It is not a destination.

Healing is truth-ful. You can’t be dishonest with yourself and heal.

It happens over time and in moments of being loved, feeling safe again, speaking one’s truth, telling one’s story… on a yoga mat, in a therapist office, in community, in the hands of a body worker, or your lover, on the art page, in the journal.

It happens in the love you allow yourself to experience fully from others…your child, your partner, your dog, cat and all that you hold as beloved.

It happens in knowing we are not alone and being seen, heard and experienced in our pain and our power.

It happens with patience, gentleness, and compassion and less with pushing, prodding and trying to make it happen.

It is not about fixing yourself, or unbreaking the broken parts. I believe it is about reclaiming the parts that were buried, frozen, wounded.

They are still there.

You didn’t lose them.

I believe healing is about coming back to the truth of who you are and reclaiming the truth of your genius, brilliance, love, openness, trust, safety, abundance, joy, and all that you are underneath your wounding.