I’ve been in the thick of it lately. In that place where you are acutely aware of your stuff, and it kind of just stares back at you waiting, wondering what you are going to do about it. When I am in that space I don’t really want to write about it. I don’t really want to write about anything because anything I write will come out whiny, rant-ish or just plain confused.
But you know what? And this really is a no-brainer, but *I* need constant reminders…
I suspect that when you/I are in the thick of it…that’s when we really need to write, or do what it is we do to process,. to work through, to work through the lessons and messages, the “thick” has for us.
I’ve noticed that for me writing is one of my primary forms of processing, with talking at a close second. And so when I find myself watching more television than usual, when I find the last page in my journal was over a week ago, when I find that I really don’t want to talk to anyone, or go out when I am invited…I am avoiding being in the thick of it. I am running from myself, hiding, isolating, thinking I am actually getting away with something and guess what…my soul always catches up with me.
What my soul is here to learn, will not be denied it seems. I’ll be minding my own business, relaxing in the pretend quietness of my life, when BAM… comes the knock on the door that says it is time to come back to life, my dear, right about now. There are lessons to learn, people to see, a life to live. And if I fail to listen…it will come back, banging on the door, making a ruckus, an even louder one than before and well, it’s just not nice. It’s not pleasant when life gives you a big heap of stuff to look at…cause it gets bigger and bigger the more you ignore it.
So I am thinking, I might as well stop all my shenanigans and avoidance ploys and BE in the thick of it. Feel the feelings, work through the thoughts/emotions that are coming up for me. Work through the story I am creating around the latest BAM and BE with it. Maybe it won’t stay around so long waiting to be heard and acknowledged if I greet it at the door? Maybe it will stop nagging and screaming at me, if I just invite it in like Rumi’s Guest House, “knowing it is gift from beyond.”Maybe it will calm down if I let it know, it is welcomed and more importantly it is loved.