As a little girl, I used dance in my aunt’s livingroom and put on a show for everyone. I didn’t care back then what I looked like and she humored me and watched and smiled. When I entered a talent contest with two other girls in elementary school and couldn’t keep up with the steps, my dreams of being a dancer were shattered. Okay, I’m being dramatic but I was devastated when kids kept coming up to us afterward, saying we were really good, except for that girl. That girl would me. I think I subconsciously vowed never to dance in front of anyone ever again. I wouldn’t even join the conga line at weddings and when Latin relatives threw a party and hit the dance floor/livingroom, I sat and watched.
Recently as part of my self created healing regimen for my body, I’ve returned to dance as a way to feel good and let the Life Force in. I must say it is exhilirating to let go after having been so rigid for so long. Today I dance almost every day to the music of my ipod, blasting in my ears. I dance to salsa music, merengue, house music. I lock the door so I won’t be so self conscious and I release my resistance against myself and the more I dance, the more in tune I get with my body.
As survivors we need to begin to feel and listen to the rhythm inside of us, calling us to live and to dance away our resistance to living. It’s okay to let go.